well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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