apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
