M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
