i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
