I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
