WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
id be glad to
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
