lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
time to smoke my breakfast
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize
