When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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