Someone shit on the floor
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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