Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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