he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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