i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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