We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize