Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
