when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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