2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Less talking, more tequila
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
