I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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