I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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