i don't like sucking hair
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize