just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
