I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize