did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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