Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
