Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
