No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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