Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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