Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Boobs are out for the taking
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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