Where is the hickey?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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