For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
