i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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