im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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