Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
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