I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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