Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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