Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
