addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We're too hungover to prance.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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