What did we do last night that was yellow?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
