Quick, to the slutcave!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
