Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Pooping to opera.
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