My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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