shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
