how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
