Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
