Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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