I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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