he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
accomplished twins. life is a go
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize