So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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