Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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