i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
