I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
only if we run a train.
done.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize