The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
