Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize