we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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