ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
