dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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