yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
