what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
