my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
