Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
