I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize