I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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