You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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