I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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